To date we have $3591 in the account for our plane tickets, so we have $3609 more to go. At this point it seems a bit overwhelming with all the other expenses that we will face once we return, so please pray for peace of mind and trust in the GOD of the universe who has all things in his control! We have found someone to take our house, Internet and dog, so that is a burden that has been lifted.
Here are some of the random thoughts and feelings that pass through my mind and heart on any given day:
I still have lots of packing and planning to do. I am feeling a bit nervous about the unknowns. I am not completely sure everyone knows what a Home Assignment is, and I am burdened with the feeling that we have to somehow justify it, I know that we NEED it and yet I have a hard time having to explain it. I am realizing there are so many who do not understand the world of 'missionary' and I am praying that we will have those who will surround us and support us when we arrive back in Canada. We still have no idea where we will live. I am nervous about returning to Canada. I am overwhelmed with the task ahead, and yet I want to enjoy my last few weeks here in Africa (where's the balance?)! I am looking forward to seeing our family and friends. I am looking forward to attending Talitha's Graduation! I am looking forward to the quiet and peaceful place where my parents live in Sussex! I am wondering how we will manage a vehicle. Sometimes I wish we could purchase a small home that we could come back to every 3 or 4 years for the refreshment and relaxation that we need. I never realized how much is involved in planning a home assignment and all the unknowns that you just have to sit back and watch God work through! Some days I wake up and think... 'this is all TOO much', but then I remember that God doesn't give us more than what we can handle. Some days I think... where is everybody when we need help... but that is just me being selfish. This is who I am, I am sharing honestly, some may be offended, but others will pray more for me, and some will even write me and let me know that I am not alone!
There are some of my random thoughts! They rush through my mind and make me tired. I am a weak and broken vessel who needs the Lord and His filling more than ever. He reminds me that ALL things work together for GOOD for those who LOVE Him and are CALLED according to His purpose! God is good... all the time!
Trusting...
Charlene
3 comments:
Hi Charlene!
Just read your blog. Wanted to let you know that I understand your feelings what you described!!!
I think people should understand better that being a missionary is tough work and difficult (and wonderful and great, etc :-)) and that you NEED refreshment so that you are able to invest in people’s lives again. Nobody can do that without having a break sometimes!
So many times we Christians think that Christian work should be as cheap as possible and that the people who are doing it cannot feel emotions as home sickness, demotivation, discouragement, etc. They forget that not they, but those people out on the field are doing the most important work!!! You are working to spread the gospel, to show Jesus to other people! What will last is not the work what you do in an office (except the work what you do in national Office :-)) or selling cars, or what ever.
We all agree that we should have a raise of salary every year, but we don’t think of missionaries who don’t get that. Those missionaries just have to have enough faith that God will supply. They forget that God supplies through people like them. They act like: oh, it is not my responsibility, but God’s. He will take care of the Knightly family! And of course He will, but God works through people, like He works through the Knightly Family to reach out to people in Namibia. And that does not mean that we can sit back and do nothing and leave it up to God. NO! We are One Body and we need to take care of each other. That is how God ment it!
I think it is very good that you wrote such an honest blog on your website!!!! I really hope that people are triggered by it and that there will be a small house for your family to come back every 3 or 4 years for a break :-). I really do hope that! You know what? I’ll ask my Father for it! See what he can do!! He is awesome, He has all these great ideas, etc. And He is always willing to listen to His children and help them! I think you know my Dad :-). He is just great, he will help!
Okay, love to write some more, but a baby needs attention!
Blessings and know that I keep you and your family up in prayer!
Fetske
We understand...boy, do we! The best thing to hang on to is that God is in control. When all seems to be swirling around, God never changes. We're going on furlough this fall, a much smaller undertaking, yet the unknown always makes my stomach uneasy. I pray you will have quiet, beauty and good fellowship. That God will give you rest, push your limits and give you extra love for the "special" people in your life.
Valen and Carol
Hi, Charlene! I just stumbled across your blog and wanted to encourage you to hold on to what God is telling you in your heart!!! There are always a TON of unknowns when we head back to the States on home assignment. Last time, we had enough money set aside to reach the border...no more...and our water pump blew halfway there. God already had everything under control and was glorified as we trusted. That's the (in my opinion) biggest challenge of being a missionary -- actually, I think it's the challenge of being a Christian. Trusting in what we cannot see...or control!!!
Blessings to your family! I'm going to browse around and read more about your family. Our family will be praying for your family as you transition back to the, ahem, civilized world!!! ;^)
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